After a hard week of school work, with mental and physical labour, surely you deserve a slice of  cheesy, Italian pizza. But getting a good slice comes with numerous challenges

STEP ONE: THE PLANNING 

If you think that you can spontaneously get a slice of pizza without planning ahead, think again. To get the cheesiest, most mouth-watering pizza you need a minimum of two days  to get ready. Firstly, be nice to your mum and dad; say ‘Please’ and ‘Thank you’, wash the dishes and do your chores. This will help you get money, money for enough pizza to satisfy you on a Friday. Also, make sure that you don’t have any sport after lunch.  Perhaps, try to get a note from your parents, or fake an injury, because all that pizza is not going to feel good whilst you’re running laps.

STEP TWO: THE ANTICIPATION 

Getting a slice of that goodness takes a lot of preparation in the lesson before. Don’t settle into that last lesson before lunch without knowing your plan of attack by heart. Before the lesson ends, have your things neatly packed and your money stored safely in your pocket before combat.

STEP THREE : PERFECT POSITIONING 

Once you have been excused from your class, dash down to Mike’s place. At this point, walking isn’t an option. Getting a good slice of cheesy pizza must be your main priority. When you arrive in Mike’s place, aim to get to the front of the queue. It may be advisable to walk with a large group of friends, as there tends to be a swarm of children. Keep your eyes on the prize and don’t give up, not when you’re so close to your target!

STEP FOUR: THE CHOICE  

Never ever make the mistake of choosing the wrong slice of pizza ! It will cost you a whole €1.60 and an extra €1.60 to buy another slice. So, when you arrive you will see roughly 50 slices of pizza before you, DO NOT be tempted to just grab five and pay. It is important to be patient and consider your options :

  • Do you take pepperoni or margherita?
  • Do you take a small but juicy slice or a large crust slice?
  • Do you wait for the next set of  pizza, or do you take your chances with the current set?

The trick is to not think too much about all of these things. Scan the pizzas and stop when you discover what you’ve been searching for: a pizza with the perfect size crust (thick or thin, whatever you prefer), fresh tomato sauce (not the dried out kind), enough cheese (but not too much!) and the right size.

STEP FIVE: INDULGE 

Now that you have obtained the target, you can find a relaxing place to stay. Preferably next to your year group, as the older years can be up to mischief, and make sure you stay away from doors as evil football players open them, flooding you with cold wind.

Well done…you have succeeded! So now settle down and enjoy your well-earned pizza.